Dear Diary,

I can’t believe how fast college is coming up. The early applications are due Nov. 1! When am I ever going to find enough time to do the applications. I have so much work and stress right now! I don’t really know what to write about. I mean I know I should write something about my experiences but what about it. I feel like I didn’t really learn from it Okay, I learned to rely on God. I realized that health is more important to school & everything else in the world. My motivation to fight on comes from the children who fight cancer everyday too. Nurses are the ones that care for the patients the most. That’s because of these bad circumstances good things result. Some people come up to me and say that I’m really tough & strong, & others say that they admire my strength, but it’s all from God. I may have cancer, but it’s just a tool that God uses to shape my life to become a better person. Everyone has his/her own problems. If they didn’t, their life would be blank.

Reading the “Abiding in His Strength”

It’s so easy to loose faith in God because He seems so intangible. When atrocities fall upon our initial response is to question the existence of God’s presence. “Are you really there?”

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She & I shored the same feeling for other people that were also diagnosed with cancer. We can’t bear to see anyone with the same pain as us. But God has helped me to see the good that comes out of the suffering.

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It was really amazing how when we were in fear, we all cried out together for help from God. Even though at that time, we were very scared, I felt somehow comforted & sage in the arms of my parents as we all cried & prayed together.

 

At that time the doctors were still not sure whether or not it was malignant, but they were expecting it to most likely need chemo treatments churches around the world (Amsterdam, Hong Kong, California, Chicago, New York) were praying for my situation. And He answered our prayers.

I didn’t know what to pray because I assumed that I was going to get the broviac & chemo treatments.

 

I just prayed that He answered our prayers when the doctors told us that it was low grade & didn’t need chemo.

 

I had an operation on my leg Oct.28, 1999

 

Three years later, I was diagnosed with cancer again. (April 1, 2002) I was pretty upset, but I took the news calmly (compared to the first time)

I trust in God to take care of me the same way He’s presence was evident the 1^st time. However, the recurrence cancer was a higher grade Osteosarcoma & the doctors felt that chemo was necessary.